Christmas is a time of mixed feelings for those who are missing someone they love. Emotions may be intensified and you may be left feeling out of step with the jolliness and goodwill.
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Christmas will not be the same after the loss of someone close to you. By acknowledging this and sometimes changing the way you do things around this time, ‘surviving’ Christmas may be made easier. And yet Christmas can still be special. You may need to find a way of experiencing Christmas that has meaning for you. For some that may mean not celebrating at all. There is no right or wrong way to act or feel.
Coping Strategies:
- Be gentle with yourself. Do not expect too much of yourself or those around you.
- Do something special in memory of the person who has died; light a candle, buy or make a special decoration for the tree.
- Write a letter or card to the person.
- Some buy a gift for the person and donate it to one of the charity, church or supermarket trees.
- Share memories- photos, stories. Laugh and cry.
- Play a special song or music.
- Plan your time so you are under as little stress as possible. Don’t over commit. Give yourself permission to do less.
- Go to a place you loved together.
- Give yourself time to ‘be’ with the person you are missing.
- Ask for help from friends or professionals. This may mean asking a friend to help you with shopping. Talk to someone if you feel you are not coping.
- Plan things differently if that is right for you; a picnic at the beach, going bush, helping at a charity lunch, attending a different church service.
- Let yourself have fun. If you are feeling happy, go with it – it does not mean you are forsaking the person who is not there.
- It is OK to spend time alone.
Helping Someone who is grieving:
- Be a good listener. You can’t fix grief but you can be there to hear their story and share the journey.
- Be a shoulder to cry on. Emotions are strong at times such as Christmas. Release through crying helps with healing.
- Be in touch; a call, dropping in, a card or letter will help people feel supported.
- Be a friend. Be present. Try to be aware of when a person needs company and when they need to be alone.
Support is available.
What you are feeling is natural and support can help. Nalag will be available for phone support up to and during Christmas and afterwards on 0488 225 710.
