After six years of eating my body weight in Vegemite and figuring out how to use a clothes’ line, I finally sat the Australian Citizenship test. Since Donald Trump really is going to be the next President of the United States, I think it’s safe to say this could not have come at a better time.
The test consisted of 20 multiple choice questions designed to make sure you understand the history and future of Australia and its people. I got 95%, which means I’ve spent the last few weeks saying, my name’s Summah and I’m about to be Strayan. It also means I’ve not stopped wondering which question I got wrong. Unfortunately, the online testing system didn’t tell me which one I missed.
To be honest, the test was a bit harder than I anticipated. I’d say 17 were fairly easy and 3 were “thank God I downloaded the study guide the night before” hard. Surprisingly, the question I was most terrified about being on the test was not there.
“Is it acceptable to wear UGGS in public in Australia?”
After six years, I genuinely don’t know.
When UGGS became a thing, I was 15 and heavily influenced by pop culture. (I had severely over plucked eyebrows and thought wearing a tie as a belt was enviable.) Nearly every celebrity I worshiped wore UGGS. It didn’t matter if it was summer or winter, my role models were clearly trying to tell me that my feet NEEDED fur lined boots like Lenny Kravitz needs smaller scarves.
Exhibits A, B and C:
And yes, I wore the Juicy Jumpsuit too. #forshame
If you haven’t worn a pair of UGGS, then you probably don’t know it’s the closest thing to taking your bra off at the end of the day. They are like a giant mom hug; warm, cosy and non-judgemental. Unfortunately – some people I’ve met in Mudgee are.
Since I’ve spent the past four years being pregnant and birthing children, I may have been wearing my UGGS more than usual. On numerous occasions an Australian friend would make fun of me for wearing them in public and tell me that, “Aussies don’t wear UGGS in public.”
Since I was pregnant and/ or breastfeeding, I couldn’t care enough to deny my feet such pleasure. But then one day, I was at Mudgee’s brewery wearing my UGGS (and active wear – gasp!) and met author/model/girl boss, Tara Moss.
Since nothing is real unless, it’s on Instagram, I asked her for a picture. When I went to choose an appropriate filter, all I saw was GIANT FRUMPY WOOL BOOTS. They dwarfed my legs even more than the supermodel towering over me, which meant I was going to have to do some serious above the knee cropping.
I felt daggy, under-dressed and downright UGGly. (It could have also been the fact I hadn’t brushed my hair in months and was standing next to a super model.) Regardless, I haven’t been able to wear UGGS in public since and I genuinely miss them. It’s time to settle this once and for all:
One more question – Is it acceptable to take the citizenship test in active wear?!
Get Summer Land’s hilarious memoir, Summerlandish: Do As I Say, Not As I Did, here! or The Shop by Botobolar at 28 Church Street.