Editorial | Men: Stop giving advice and listen instead

The following are fact:

- One woman per week is murdered by her current or former partner on average.

- 20 per cent of Australian women have experienced sexual violence.

- 1 in 4 women in Australia has experienced emotional abuse by a current or former partner.

This week Australia, and the world mourned the death of Aiia Maasarwe, a woman that was killed simply for living her life, something she – and all women – should be able to do freely, without fear.

Last week I wrote about the reaction to the Gillette ad, which challenged male expectations and called on all men to be better.

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One enlightened commenter claimed ‘it’s all about women these days.’

Imagine living your life thinking that women, who make up 51 per cent of the world’s population and are far more likely to be a victim of a violent crime, are somehow unworthy of attention.

I promise you that if the above statistics were gender-reversed, the PM would be out there calling a national emergency. 

Politicians love making broad claims about protecting our ‘values’ and ‘way of life’, but what kind of life can you live in Australia as a woman that you cannot confidently leave your home without fear of violence, either mental, sexual or physical coming to you from another man.

That’s not to say that there is a shortage of people coming up with so-called ‘solutions’ for those women; we’ve all heard them before; ‘Don’t go out late at night’, ‘don’t wear revealing clothes’, ‘learn self-defence’.

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None of these are helpful nor do they tackle the root cause of these crimes, instead putting the blame on the victim.

Men have never been good listeners. Have you ever shared your emotions and issues with someone only to be met with suggestions on how you can fix it? I’ve done it, we all have. But men need to learn to listen and listen often.

If you’re a heterosexual male reading this, there is no possible way you can claim to know what it’s like to live life as a statistically likely victim.

Look at the facts and reflect for just one minute on how bad this has gotten and how the attitudes of ourselves and others allow it to continue.

If you aren’t listening to the victims, you’re simply part of the problem.